What is self-care?
The term self-care is used abundantly nowadays, but what actually is it?
There is no doubt that some people find that using yoga, taking a candlelit bubble bath, exercising or going for a walk, helps them to unwind or de-stress. But the concept of self-care is about putting ourselves first, which we sometimes find difficult to do. Some feel that it’s selfish to put ourselves first - but it’s necessary for our mental and physical health. In fact, getting into the habit of practising this can help us to really connect with ourselves and increase our self-awareness.
So how do we do it effectively? Well, all of the above methods can be helpful, but self-care is as individual and unique as our personalities. So, it’s about finding what works for you - and that can mean anything - whatever it is that makes you feel re-charged and refreshed.
However, I want to share with you a few other ways of practising self-care, which don’t involve lighting a candle or reading a good book.
My favourite one - boundaries. Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries with children, friends, in relationships and at work helps us to make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves and can help to increase self-esteem and self-respect. The first step is deciding what your boundaries are - and these can be physical or emotional boundaries. The more challenging aspect can be sticking to them, but the more you practise and maintain them, the more people will respect your boundaries.
Sometimes a difficult one - saying ‘no’ - and this links with the challenge of establishing boundaries. Have you thought about how you respond when you’re asked to take on extra unwanted responsibilities at work. or you’re invited to a social gathering and you just don’t feel like going (pre-covid days!), or you’re asked to commit to something you don’t have time for, or your phone is pinging away with hundreds of notifications? Why is it that we feel we can’t say no? Well - here’s a revelation - we can say no!! Saying ‘no’ to something we don’t want to do is another way of looking after ourselves - it could be giving us more time to relax, reducing some feelings of stress, or simply making us feel more in control of our lives.
Stop putting yourself down. How is this self-care? Well, every time you put yourself down or berate yourself for something, you chip away at your self-esteem. By allowing yourself to be human and accepting that you’re not perfect, you are taking care of your mental wellbeing. So next time you hear that inner critical voice - answer it back!
It can feel so liberating to give yourself permission to take some time out, so when you feel that need, try to meet it - and don’t feel guilty about it. Practising being kind to yourself in all respects can help to boost your mental, emotional and physical health.
